Heart Song (The Erotic Rockstar Series) Read online

  HEART SONG

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  Copyright © 2013 Bec Botefuhr

  Published by Bec Botefuhr, Jan 2013

  Heart Song is a work of fiction. All names, characters, places and events portrayed in this book either are from the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, establishments, events, or location is purely coincidental and not intended by the author. Please do not take offence to the content, as it is FICTION.

  Books in this Series

  Phoenix Rockstar (Book One)

  Heart Song (Book Two)

  Chief’s Angel (Book Three)

  Join my Facebook page “Author Bec Botefuhr” to get updates on more of my work!

  Coming Soon

  Forsaken – Book Two in the Witness Series

  Chief’s Angel – Book Three in the Rockstar/Biker Series

  Blue Dragon – Stand alone Erotica/romance.

  ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

  For everyone who believed in me, who knew that I could do it even when I didn’t believe it. My family, friends, co-workers and everyone who said “You can do it.” Thank you.

  For my husband’s patience and love, and for not hitting me over the head for all the hours I have spent working on my novels. For my gorgeous daughters who are the best children a Mother could ask for.

  For all my fans, for their encouragement and belief, for their kind words and amazing hearts. You all make this possible for me.

  Huge thanks to all my helpful fans. To Carla Barillo, Leigh Parrish, Kirsten Perrot, Emma Barker, Adriana Noriega & Ryn Hughes for reading and giving me honest opinions on this before I put it out. You guys are amazing.

  To my wonderful editor Merriedth Province, who helped me out of the goodness of her beautiful heart.

  HEART SONG

  PROLOGUE

  Give a little time to me, to burn this out,

  We’ll play hide and seek, to turn this around,

  All I really want is the taste that your lips allow,

  My my, my my, give me love.

  Stinging pain, I feel it radiating through my chest. Rain is covering my face and I feel my head thump down on the sidewalk. I can’t open my eyes, why can’t I open my eyes? I can hear Travis screaming, I can hear his pounding footsteps. I will myself to open my eyes, but I can’t fight the burning pain shooting through my shoulder and into my chest. I open my mouth, but not even a scream escapes.

  “Stay back or I’ll shoot her again.” Jeremy snarls.

  “Please, don’t.” Travis pleads.

  “Fucking stay back.”

  I hear boots and finally my eyes crack open. Jeremy is standing over me, looking down at my face. I can see pain in his eyes, I can see all the pain he has held for so many years and guilt swarms me. I blink away the wet drops filling my eyes, the rain is heavier now. Jeremy steps over me, pointing the gun down at me. Travis roars again but Jeremy spins around and points the gun at him again.

  “One more fucking step and her brains are on this sidewalk.”

  Jeremy turns back and kneels over me. I feel my eyes widen as he presses the gun to his temple.

  “No…” I croak.

  “This is your fault, do you hear me? That was my sister, my lifeline and you took it away. This is on you and I hope you see this for the rest of your pathetic life.”

  I open my mouth to scream, but he pulls the trigger and my vision turns red from the blood that splatters over me. With a strangled scream, I pass out with Jeremy’s face in my mind and the guilt in my heart.

  Paint splattered tear drops on my shirt,

  Told you I would let them go….

  CHAPTER ONE

  “She is coming with me Caden, end of story.”

  “Please Mandy; I need to make this right.”

  “You can see she doesn’t want that right now.”

  I can hear my parents arguing, I am coming in and out of my haze. I am so full of painkillers after that horrible shooting. I lie in the hospital bed facing the wall while they prepare my transfer. My heart is broken; I feel nothing, nothing at all. I just want to escape; I need to run from this pain. I can’t take any more of it. I close my eyes and shudder at the memories in my mind, Travis and Annabelle, Chief and Jasmine…then Jeremy shooting me, and blowing his own brains out right on the side walk.

  I open my eyes and swallow the bile back down, my mind cannot wrap around all of this. I can’t focus enough to deal with any of it; I just need to get away. I need to be free, just for a while. Guilt swarms me over Jeremy’s death, he was so alone, so hurt by what happened that he ended his own life, after trying to take mine first. I will never get that image out of my mind, I will never forget seeing him hold that gun to his head and pull the trigger, just as my own world went black.

  “Mischief!” Chief calls, but I don’t roll to look at him. He can’t get into the room.

  “Please baby, please don’t go.”

  I clamp my eyes shut, I am beyond tears now. I have to do this; for my own sanity, I have to go.

  “We are ready to leave now.” The nurse smiles, I don’t smile back.

  She wheels my bed out the back door and I can hear Chief yelling, calling my name over and over again. I am being slid into the ambulance for transport, when I hear another voice. Travis.

  “Mischief!”

  I cover my ears, I can’t bear it, I can’t bear to see the pain in his eyes. I can’t bear to hear him beg me not to go. I have to go, this world is dangerous for me; he is dangerous for me.

  “Please talk to me, don’t go!” He yells.

  I know he is behind the fencing and can’t get in.

  “MISCHIEF PLEASE!”

  I don’t look, I just keep my hands over my ears and my eyes clamped shut until the ambulance is on the road and driving me away from all the pain and darkness.

  CHAPTER TWO

  TWO YEARS LATER

  “I don’t want you to go.” I whisper to my Mom, as she puts the last of her clothes in the suitcase.

  “I have to find myself again Violet; I can’t live like this anymore. Now Gran has passed and this house is selling, I have a reason to go for a while.”

  “Where will I go?”

  She sighs and hugs me, her fingers slide down my cheek to cup my chin. I peer into her dull, blue eyes; her lifeless eyes that haven’t smiled for two years.

  “You are grown up now Violet, I can’t baby you forever. You have some of the money from the house sale back home; you can make your own choices now.”

  “I have no one here; no family, and no friends.”

  She gives me a weak smile and swipes the hair from my forehead away.

  “You have family and friends, they just aren’t here.”

  “You want me to go back?” I say, shocked.

  “I want you to let go, I want you to face the past. You have hidden for two years, you haven’t spoken to your Father that entire time, or Travis.”

  “They hurt me.”

  “That was two years ago, you can’t run forever; it won’t help.”

  I sigh. “I know Momma, I know.”r />
  “Go back, make peace, life is too short to live like this Violet…it is just too short.”

  “I miss him.” I whisper.

  “Caden?”

  “Yes, I really miss him.”

  “Then make it right, I beg you, make it right.”

  I hug her again. “I want to know you are sure about what you are doing.”

  She smiles. “I need to find myself Violet; I lost it when…when….Demon did what he did. I need to find my happiness; I have always wanted to travel.”

  “Are you sure this is the right thing? Two years ago you would have never encouraged me to go back or just left me on my own.”

  She nods. “You are grown now Violet; I can’t keep chasing you and making choices for you. If you want to go back and see Caden, go back, if you don’t, I can’t make you. I truly hope you do because I know that you need him in your life, even if you don’t realize that yourself right now.”

  “Part of me knows you are right, I just wish I didn’t have to go without you.”

  “It won’t be forever, but it’s time you found your own way.”

  I nod swallowing. “I hope you find whatever it is you are looking for Mom, you deserve happiness as much as I do.”

  “I hope so too, Angel.”

  We hug and I leave her to her packing. I walk back into my room and finish packing my own small bag. I have lived with my Mom and Gran for two years now. I came to live with them when things went sour back home. In that time Gran got sick; Mom and I worked around the clock to care for her until she passed away three weeks ago. Now, Mom is packing up and travelling the world and I am left to confront my past. I know it’s time, I know I have to go home. I have to find a job, get a house and start living again and this isn’t the place to do it.

  When I have loaded my Mother onto the plane and kissed her a hundred times, I get into my car with my few tiny valuables, and I begin driving home. I don’t know what I will drive into; I don’t even know if Chief is there anymore. I don’t know how Travis is, I don’t know if he is with Annabelle or if he went back to New York. I just don’t know and that scares the hell out of me.

  I drive a solid five hours before stopping at a gas station and refilling my car. I love and hate the stupid little buzz box. It is a 1987 VW beetle and can be more trouble than it’s worth, but it is all I have that is mine and I love it for that. When I have filled it and gotten myself a bag of potato chips, I get back in the car and finish the last stretch home. My heart begins to pound when I drive down the streets, I suddenly don’t know if this is something I can deal with.

  When I pull up out front of Chief’s house, my heart nearly stops. It looks just the same, with Harley Davidsons pulled up out the front. I feel tears prick my eyes, and I swipe them away quickly. I have to face this, I have to put the past to bed before I can move on. At least that is what my Counselor said, and my Mom. I rub my face and take a few calming breaths, I have to do this, I have to do this.

  I get out of the car and walk across the street, and three things happen at once; Chief walks out of the house and sees me standing pitifully in his driveway, Jasmine walks out behind him and I take three steps back. A car screeches to a halt and I realize I have stepped back onto the road. My hand covers my heart as it thumps wildly, what is happening here? I am not ready for this, not ready at all. The driver of the car hurls abuse at me, and speeds past.

  “Mischief, baby?” Chief croaks.

  He is stepping down the front porch steps. His eyes are red; his hands are trembling slightly. Chief looks exactly the same as he did when I left; he is still rugged and handsome, with only a touch of grey hair in his dark locks. I take two steps back, realizing what I have put myself in. My hands tremble and I swallow over and over to try and soften up my dry throat.

  “Mischief?” Chief says again, stepping closer.

  I can’t deal with this, not right now; it is harder than I first imagined it would be. I turn and I run, I flee across the road and down onto the beach. I am pumping my legs, making them take me even though they want to remain standing still. I find an old cave Travis and I used to go to. When our parents would fight; we would sit and hide letting the world pass us by. I drop to the floor and wrap my hands around my knees, tears tumble down my cheeks.

  “Mischief, I always know where to find you.”

  I look over at Trav, and my eyes are welling with tears. I am just a child, and my parents are fighting yet again.

  “I hate it Trav, I hate how it sounds.”

  He wraps an arm around me; I am only seven years old so I sink right into him.

  “It’s ok, I got you, I have always got you.”

  “Why do people that love each other fight Trav?”

  He shrugs. “Sometimes people get angry at each other; even we get angry at each other Mischief.”

  “I know, but Daddy can be so mean to Momma.”

  “I know, shhh, it’s ok.”

  “Do your Momma and Daddy fight Trav?”

  He smiles. “Max is never home Mischief, so they don’t get a chance.”

  “Does that make your Mom sad?”

  He smiles, but it is pained.

  “Yes baby, it does.”

  I feel a hard set of arms wrap around me, and I recognize the scent immediately. I recognize it because it was the scent that put me to sleep every night as a child, it was my comfort, my safe place; it is Chief. He holds me so tightly I struggle to breathe but God, I don’t care, I don’t care because I have missed him. I feel his warm tears blend with my own, as he just sits holding me. He doesn’t say anything, he just holds onto me. When I finally pull back, I look up at him.

  “Oh baby...”

  He strokes my cheek with his thumb.

  “Daddy,” I whisper. “I’m so sorry.”

  He shakes his head.

  “No, you did nothin’ wrong. I made the mistake and God I have fucking paid for it.”

  “I didn’t stay and listen, I should have listened but I ran.”

  “You had every reason to run kid.”

  “No, it was me being a coward. I should have faced it, and then, if I couldn’t take it I could have run.”

  “Mischief, sometimes we do things that don’t make sense. At the time, that made sense to you and you needed it to happen. No one is blaming you for that.”

  “I missed you; it was so hard being alone.”

  “I know, God baby, I know.”

  “Why is Jasmine still here?”

  He rubs his eyes angrily.

  “Her Mom died, she ain’t got no one else Mischief.”

  “Are you happy?” I whisper, swallowing.

  “Not been happy since you walked out that door.”

  “Momma is gone, I have nowhere else to go, I wanted to put the past to bed and…”

  “You came home.”

  “I came home.”

  “And made me the happiest man on the face of this earth.”

  “Is…he still here?” I whisper.

  He rubs his head again.

  “He lives next door Mischief.”

  “What?” I croak.

  “He has since you left, he bought his parents old house…”

  “I…oh God; he will hate me when he sees I am back.”

  “Travis is fucked up Mischief, he is damaged goods; he isn’t who you remember.”

  I blink away my tears and stare at Chief in shock.

  “It’s because of me?”

  “You broke him Mischief, but you aren’t to blame.”

  “What have I done?” I croak, looking away.

  “Nothing that can’t be undone with time; he made the mistake too, it wasn’t all your fault.”

  “I left; I didn’t give him a chance to explain.”

  “He lied, it was wrong.”

  “I know it was wrong, but I shouldn’t have run. I didn’t give him a chance to explain and that’s on me.”

  “He should have told you from the beginning, and it wouldn’t hav
e happened. We both should have told you.”

  “Yes Daddy, he should have but it is done now. I have lost the one thing in this world that made me feel something.”

  “It’s not too late.”

  “It is too late, I gave away my happily ever after.”

  “Happily ever after is for those who haven’t fought Mischief, if you want that happily ever after, you fucking well fight for it.”

  “I don’t know how to fight anymore.”

  “I don’t believe that.”

  “I have to find a job and a house…”

  “I will help you out, just come on home until you settle down.”

  “I’m twenty three; I have to do this on my own.”

  “I know.”

  I stand and dust off my pants, turning towards him.

  “I missed you Daddy, every damned day.”

  He strokes my cheek and grinds his jaw, his grey eyes glass over again and he fists an angry tear away.

  “Fucking missed you too, every damned day.”

  I take his hand and we walk back to the house, Travis is nowhere to be seen and my heart aches knowing he lives right next door. Chief said fight, but I wonder if in fact it is just too late to fight for Travis.

  CHAPTER THREE

  “Why does she get to walk back in and get whatever she wants Chief?” Jasmine snaps, hands firmly on her hips.

  I glare at her, knowing this is going to be one hell of a ride. She has had him all to herself for two years, and she seems to think it is going to remain that way. She is attractive, as I remember her to be. She is blonde, with the same grey eyes as me. She towers over me, with beautiful long legs and a killer body.

  “Don’t fucking start your attitude again Jasmine, Mischief is always welcome here and if she wants to stay that room is hers.”

  “You love her more than me!” She cries, crossing her arms.

  “Don’t start that shit; I don’t have to go over it now. You ain’t children anymore, I don’t need any of this ‘you love her more than me crap.’”